Tuesday, October 13, 2009

The Future Lauren

You know those times in your life when you feel like not much is happening, but in reality there is a lot going on around you?  That's what the past few weeks have felt like for me.  I guess that means I'm finally really settling in here and London is starting to feel like my home.  All the things going on don't feel new and exciting anymore, they are now just a part of my everyday life.  That is not so say I am bored, by any means!

The possibilities here are endless, this rang true when I realized something the other week, something that I didn't even realize I was doing.  So most people who know me probably know that I like to change things up from time to time, I'm not a fan of routine.  I get antsy doing the same thing too long.  I had no idea I was doing this until the other day when I was walking home from the tube, but in the 9 months I have lived in my new flat I have probably gone to work or come home about 10 different ways.  I'll get stuck on one route for a few weeks, then inevitably I'll change it up and start taking a new route a few weeks later.  It is so strange, I really never made a conscience decision to change my route, I just kinda took a different way one day.  I guess this city is good for a person like me, there are about 5 different bus routes and 3 different tube routes to and from work for me...and that doesn't include all of the different ways I can walk. 

I have also found myself worried and stressing about the future, something I traditionally have never participated in.  I have always been one to live for the moment and let future figure itself out.  However, for some reason I have been so focused on the future lately.  Whether it be which trips I want to take a year from now, when am I going to end this London adventure, what area of London do I want to live in next, what job I want to have 5 years from now...I have been stressing on every little detail of these questions trying to plan out several different scenarios for each.  I don't know when this started or why, but I am going to make a conscience decision to live in the now and enjoy each day without really worrying too much about what the future holds...as my new friend Meg taught me..."I'm going to let the Future Lauren worry about that"  Some may call it reckless, but I am ready to embrace the old me, I know she's in here somewhere!

No comments: