A Tale of a Pathetic Love Affair

I can't believe that I haven't blogged this one yet.  Going back a couple of months here, but this one is definitely one for the books.  Here lies one of my most shameful displays of my attempts to make my deluded fantasies of me and Bob Schneider growing old together a reality.  I'd say if you know me well, but really if you know me at all, you are well acquainted for my long standing affinity for one Bob Schneider.  If you don't know who he is, leave now.  Now, I am aware that all self-respecting Texas women share a similar affinity, but I beg to differ.  Now, luckily, I am a lot more self-respecting than most self-respecting Texas women and I would not stoop to the level of most to gain a few minutes of Bob's attention, as I am quite certain that would probably lead to a few uncomfortable doctors appointments and a lifetime of valtrex.  Sorry, but as much as I love him, I'm not so deluded to think he's not a dirty bird.  But that doesn't stop me from attending an embarrassing amount of his shows and throwing elbows to work my way up to the front row or even making posters on one occasion, with sketches none the less, to try and get him to play my favorite song.  I digress.

So back in March, my trusty iLike app on my iPhone buzzed and gave me my weekly dose of new local shows of my favorite artists.  I casually pulled out my phone to check out the shows and I in a moment that I can only imagine is what it is like for menopausal women experiencing hot flashes, I saw Bob's name flash across my screen.  I immediately booked tickets to the show and alerted everyone I knew in the greater London area.  Show time finally arrived, and with my newly acquired skills of meeting Rock Stars overseas, I was certain that this was my moment.  The moment that I have been waiting 5 years for.  The moment in which I could redeem myself for only being able to muster the words "wow, you're really sweaty" when I finally shook hands with Bob in 2005.  Yes people, I have mad game.

Annie and I head to see the show, he is actually the opening act for Bowling for Soup.  I was furious, Bob is not an "opening act".  Anyways, it was a relatively small venue, so we had a good spot and the room was filled with Brits who were actually there to see Bowling for Soup (really?!) and had no idea who Bob was.  There were a few Texas people dispersed throughout the crowd, so we had to really put in the effort on the sing-a-longs.  I'll tell you this much, a Bob show isn't quite the same when the crowd can't do the sing-a-longs.  Towards the end he asked if anyone had any requests, since it was a small crowd and he could hear a few of of Texas folk cheering him on screaming at him.  He actually called on me. Finally, I was going to get to hear my favorite Bob song of all time.  So I yell out  "Tiger and the Lamb" as loud as I can and he says "No" and calls on the next girl.  I was deflated.  After he finished his set he wandered off stage and disappeared into the night.  I was a little bummed.  Surprisingly, Bowling for Soup was more entertaining than I expected, probably because of the copeous amounts of booze they consumed while on stage.  Then it happened.  All of a sudden out of the corner of my eye, I see Annie's arm shoot out and grab someone at the exact same time I hear her voice in slow motion saying "Boooooobbbbbbbb".  Really it happened just like that.  I whip around, clearly in slow motion as well.  And there he is, in all his beautiful, unshaven glory.  Two feet from me.   He gives us a "hey, how's it going" all casual like.  So we (read Annie, because I am frozen like a fish in the dead of winter in northern Siberia) reciprocate with an equally casual "not much, good show."  The conversation went back and forth like this, all the while I stood there looking like a aww-struck fembot, until finally he asked us what our plans were that night.  We Annie responded we'd probably go to a pub in the area, and he then said "you gotta number".  At this point I snapped even further into my frozen stuper while Annie pops out her phone and Bob takes it out of her hands and puts his number in it.  This is the second time I have literally wanted to jump out of my skin and kill Annie in a jealous rage.  But then I remembered if she wasn't taking action, I certainly wouldn't have been. So after the show we meander over to a local pub and send Bob a friendly "what's your plan" text.  We wait, and we wait, and we wait. Finally we give ourself a time limit of pathetic-ness.  That comes and goes, so Annie hides the blunt butter knife from me we hold our heads up high and walk out of the pub.  When we are on our way back to the tube I have to go to the bathroom, so I run in the movie theatre to use their bathroom.  When I come out Annie asks if I just want to see a movie since we didn't have any other plans that night that didn't involve us making memories with Bob.  I agree, we buy tickets to Cemetary Junction (not advisable) and large diet cokes and double large popcorns.  Don't judge, we have open wounds to lick.  We get settled into our seats and sit through the most boring 2 minutes of cinematic crap ever and all of a sudden Annie's phone lights up with  "Bob" flashing across the screen.  In what was inevitably the most silent part of the movie, Annie squeals "what do i doooooo?!?!"  and I answer her back in a voice that I am sure favors Lucifer himself "ANSWER IT!!!!!!!!!!!"  She runs out of the movie theatre and answers the call.  She comes back and I am anxiously awaiting her arrival in my seat and she says "we are going to the tour bus"  I literally throw my popcorn up in the air and start to gather my things. She then informs me, that her conversation with Bob went something like this.  In ever such a casual, bored tone...

Bob - Hey, it's Bob

Annie - Oh, hey Bob

Bob-  Where are you

Annie - hold on, I can't hear you, let me step outside.  There that's better, we are at a pub across the street

Bob- How do I get there

Annie  - You cross the street

Bob - Oh, that sounds difficult, do you just want to come to the bus and hang out

Annie - Sure, but we need to finish our beers first

Such composure, I admire you Annie.  So I regain no resemblance of such composure and run to the bathroom and jump up and down like a fat kid on Christmas.  We wait an appropriate amount of "beer drinking" time and then head over to the bus.  But not before Annie stops by the snack counter and tells the manager that the movie was crap and we want our money back.  Genius. 

We walk up to the tour bus and there Bob, the Bowling for Soup guys and some of their tech guys, managers are standing outside hanging out.  Bob sees us approaching and walks over to meet us.  This is where it gets weird.  I have finally regained use of the spoken word and Annie and I proceed to talk Bob's ear off.  Not because we had a bad case of verbal vomit but because the guy who is so charismatic and charming (in my eyes) on stage has the personality of a tree stump.  Seriously, it was so weird.  I still don't really know what to make of it.  It's not that he wasn't nice or didn't talk at all.  He was SO nice to us and answered all of our questions, but he just wasn't engaging at all.  He offers us beers and doesn't take one for himself, when we call attention to us, he tells us he is sober now.  That. Explains. So. Much.  The crazy, womanizing Bob that I have heard tales about was the "pre-rehab" Bob.  I want that Bob back. Anyways, like I said, he was perfectly nice to us, and I don't know what I expected...for him to dance like a monkey for us, obviously not.  But at least I got to ask him why he straight up denied my Tiger and the Lamb request and he said he couldn't play it without a band and his new band didn't know it anyways, but that it was cool that I knew that one.   After a bit the bus started up and they had to head onto the next city, but Bob was nice enough to take a couple of pictures with us and walk us out of the tour bus when we left. And that my friends is the tale of how I ended up on my second tour bus in the same month. 

All These Things That I've Done

...I've got soul but I'm not a soldier...sorry I got distracted singing my favorite Killers song while trying to think of a catchy title for my latest act of pure stupidity.  Shocking, I know.   But actually, on that note...I find that I often break into song (in my head) whenever I hear a phrase or sometimes even a word that is from a song. Hence, I quite literally feel like I am walking around to the soundtrack of my life.  Does anyone else do this, or just me?

So back to my stupidity.  When I moved to my new flat in February, I went to the shop down the street to stock up on a few household items.  They were out of the little individual gel packets of laundry detergent that I usually use that make life oh so simple, so I just grabbed a small jug of liquid, concentrate detergent.  I've been happily (I use the term "happily" very loosely as I detest any form of household work) doing my laundry ever since.  With the exception to the two times I recently sent out all of my laundry to be done by someone else because I had been travelling a lot and the mound of laundry had risen to shameful heights.  And no, I did NOT send out my unmentionables, because that would just be weird, but what I am about to tell you kinda makes me wish that I did. 

Last night, I was doing a load of said unmentionables (because clearly the rest of my laundry had just been picked up washed, ironed and folded that morning) and I must have been bored because I took a closer look at my detergent and not so quickly realized that it was fabric softener.  That is right people, I have been washing my clothes in ONLY fabric softener for the last 4 months.  Ew. I mean I guess they still smell fresh, but they're not really clean. It's times like these when I hate that the US and the UK don't have the same brand names.  I mean in the US, it's easy.  Snuggles = Fabric Softener.  Tide = Detergent.  Period.  I mean, what am I supposed to make of a brand called Comfort.  Fine, now that I know it is fabric softener, the name seems kind of intuative.  But they should really add the word FABRIC SOFTENER in really large bold letters on the front of the bottle, not just talk about how cosy it will make all of your clothes in really tiny letters.  Needless to say, I have a lot of laundry to redo.

Happy Birthday Ruffie!

When I first met Melissa freshman year in the dorms I could have never guessed what the next ten years would hold.  I can assure you that after a road trip to Dallas to see Dave Matthews that first semester that Melissa would tell you with certainty that I would not be involved in any way, shape or form in her next ten years.  But, alas, I prevailed and we went on to live within a barefoot walking distance from each other for the next 4 years.  She has been my most trusted confidant, my emotional counterpart, the president of refusing me whiskey, my new york hotel, the source of my inspiration for having the confidence to move to London and most of all the best friend anyone could ask for!  Happy Birthday Ruffie, you'll always be older than me!!

These are just a few of the reasons that I love this girl....

Fighting Fit

Over the last couple of years I've managed to put back on all the weight I lost post college (after putting on the sophmore 20)  I've even been so dedicated to this I decided to go ahead and put on a little extra for good measure.  Ugh, sick of this and sick of being here again.  I have obviously been a member of two different gyms since I've been in London and I have done the same thing with both...go strong for about 2-3 months then drop off all together.  The thought of joining another gym and running on a treadmill and going to Body Pump made me want to gag.  Besides, I knew I'd just do the same thing I always did...quit going.  So I decided that I needed something different that would keep my interest longer and I came up with boxing.  Cara and I had done a few boxing classes in Dallas and I really enjoyed those, they were a great release of pent up frustration.  Because of this I already own a set of boxign gloves and a set of pretty pink wraps.

One quick Google search later and I found out that there is a boxing gym right down the street from my office.  I checked out their website and saw that they have evening boxing classes and even women's only classes twice a week.  I called them to make sure that these classes were more along the lines of "fitness" rather than training for actual boxers.  They assured me they were so I headed over to Rooney's Boxing Gym the next day for my very first women's only boxing class to check it out.  Lucky me, they had just added an additional time for the class since their classes were beginning to get a bit crowded and I showed up at the very first one...and no one else did.  So I got a free one on one with a trainer.  Ouch!  That is all that I have to say about that. I quickly found out that my pink wraps were unacceptable and got myself a new green pair.  I then proceeded to work out with Micky, a scrappy irishman who I can't understand a word he says!  We finally started speaking with hand signals and got along grand.  Although I couldn't walk for three days afterwards, I went back for more this week and joined up for the year!  I am loving this place.  It is a legit boxing gym where real boxers train, it smells like something very sweaty died in it, there are blood stains on the mats in the boxing rings and it is an absolute sausage fest...I love it!  Apparently the owner, John Rooney Jr. (who wrapped my hands for me last time) is one of the most respected and sought after boxing coaches in all of the UK...what have I signed myself up for?!?!

All of this gym joining/me being sick of lugging around 20 extra lbs came at the perfect time.  We just started a Biggest Loser challenge in our department at work!  So I have the next three months to lose lose lose!!  My goal is 12% of my body weight, so lets see if I can reach it! I'll keep you all updated on my progress...maybe even some before and after photos if you're lucky!!

Sorry Mom...

I've done it again, I've managed to sign myself up for another ridiculous challenge with Annie.  Exactly one year from today I will be in the midst of crossing India via rickshaw, racing against 60 other richshaws full of fellow lunatics!  I am literally so excited about this I might wet my pants!  It all started about a year ago when Annie told me there was a rickshaw race across India to which I replied "when do we sign up?"  Unfortunately, it's not that easy.  They have three races a year, in which you have to sign up a year in advance and they sell out in under a minute.  We were trying to sign up for the Winter 2011 race, but we were otherwise occupied climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro during the sign up.  We had Colby try to register us, but she said it was sold out before she could even refresh her screen. 

So that brings us to yesterday.  Sign up for the Spring 2011 Rickshaw Run, 2pm GMT. Annie and I were exchanging phone calls and emails all morning prepping ourselves to make sure we secured a spot in the Run. I had my screen pulled up just staring at it at least an hour before sign up started.  About 5 minutes 'til, I started refreshing my screen like a mad woman just waiting for that green button to pop up.  I called Annie minutes before and we both had crazy butterflies...it was a massive race against the clock.  But it paid off, Team Rickshaw Rodeo will be racing across India April 17-May 1, 2011! 

So a little more about the Rickshaw Run.  It is put on by a company called The Adventurists, which is basically is a bunch of guys who tried to think of the stupidest things you could try and do and made them possible, all in the name of adventure.  The "race" is more about the adventure you have in the two weeks between start and finish and not about who gets there first.  There really are no rules (other than if you lose or completely total their rickshaw you have to pay for it) and there is absolutely no support during the actual race, you are completely on your own.  They give you a rickshaw, a start and an end point and say "Go!"  That is it, you figure out your own route, your own accomodation, if you break down you have to find someone to fix it (which they guarantee you will break down as rickshaws are the least reliable mode of transportation).  Read their warning here, unless you are my mom...don't read it Mom...really, don't. Basically, it sounds like the most fun 2 weeks ever, to me at least! 

So not only is this in the name of adventure, but also charity.  For each Run, they select a couple of local charities in India to support, so Annie and I will have to raise £1,000  to be able to compete.  I am so excited, but I'm not so sure what I have gotten myself into this time!

You can read more about it here....http://rickshawrun.theadventurists.com/

A walk in the park

Such a beautiful day in London on Sunday...spent the day eating ice cream in regents park followed by a little "punting" aka boating!

Ps. Don't you love my new iPhone app. Hipstamatic..makes fun old timey pics (thanks ruble for the tip off!)














- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Best Night of my Life....

Yes people...it has happened, the best night of my life!  Okay, so maybe that is a bit over dramatic.  It all started one february afternoon while I was at work and I was listening to my favorite band, Blue October, on my ipod.  They had made there very first trip overseas last year, so I thought I'd check out their tour schedule to see if they were coming back to London anytime soon.  They weren't, but there WERE going to be in Germany in just a mere two weeks!! They were playing on a Sunday night in Munich, which happens to be one of my favorite cities.  So what is a girl to do but book herself a 24 hour trip to Germany!  One EasyJet ticket, hostel booking and VIP concert ticket later I was going to see my boys in Munich!

 I landed in Munich around 10 am on Sunday morning, I had already seen most of Munich since I've been twice before so I headed to my hostel to drop off my bag and headed in to find somewhere good to eat.  Something weird happened...I was totally scared to go in anywhere and eat by myself!  This is so weird for me, after years of travelling for work I am very accustomed to eating by myself, I do it all the time in London.  In fact, I even prefer to go to the movies by myself...at least once a week.  Why now, I am going to assume it was the fact that I don't speak a lick of German.  So anyways, after trying to gather the courage at least 4 times, I finally settled on a Twix bar from a vending machine and a nap at the hostel since I had woken up at 4 am to catch my flight to Germany.

As you read before, I ponied up and bought the VIP ticket since it had a "meet and greet" with the band. Obviously.  I had visions of them immediately befriending me as soon as they heard my Texas accent in a foreign land, so clearly I had to go to the "meet and greet".  Well all of a sudden when I was waiting for the U-bahn I got this giant pit in my stomach, I was so nervous!  I suddenly realized that they would be the first "famous" people I had ever possibly conversed with, I was terrified, what would I say to them???  So I walked myself over to a bar and got myself a tall beer and called Annie for some confidence!  The beer calmed my nerves a little, by the time I showed up to the venue there was already a line of about 50 Germans waiting to get their posters signed...who brings posters?? not me, I didn't bring anything to get signed.  Darn the luck.  My big moment was quickly approaching, but I started to notice they weren't really talking to anyone, they were just hurridly signing the posters and feeding people through the lines...what?!?! How was I going to make my everlasting impression??  When it was my turn, I got to take a picture with them so I approached them with my best "Hi Y'all" hoping they would hear my Texas drawl and the rest would be history. Epic Fail.  But here is the picture...I look as giddy as a fat kid with cake and they look like they'd rather die than be standing there taking this picture.

While waiting in line I met a lovely Austrian girl named Daniela, she was still in high school and had lied to her parents and taken a train to Germany to come to the concert!  Had no idea that they had so many Germany fans!  After my picture, we were all basically kicked out of the concert venue to wait outside in the cold until the show started.  I was so annoyed!! The venue was in the middle of nowhere so we just had to sit there for 2 hours.  I was starting to rethink my whole decision as I saw my image of how this was all going to go down slipping through my fingers.  They finally let us back in and Daniela and I got a prime spot right at the front.  Before the show started I went to go get a beer and passed by the merchandise table when I had the sudden realization that the merchandise guy was probably from Texas too, so I stopped by and sure enough he was! So I chatted with Dave (the merch guy) for a while, it was nice to find another Texan in the crowd of Germans.  Once the opening band went of I went back to my spot with Daniela and we enjoyed the show, they were amazing as always, Justin is always one for the theatrics :)

Towards the end of the show, I went back to the bar to get another beer and I passed by my friend Dave again and offered to buy him a beer, which he accepted.  I came back with our beers and stayed back with him the rest of the show while we drank and chatted.  He told me the band was coming back there after the show to sign more autographs, so you know I hung around.  After everyone had cleared out a bit I bought the band Jaeger shots, since Dave tipped me off that they are Justin's favorite (mine too!) and the rest is history!!! They invited me to come back to their tour bus and hang out...not lying....I hung out in Blue October's tour bus with the band until about 4 am.  Best. Night. Of. My. Life.

They are actually all amazingly nice, cool, laid back guys.  I did have to leave for the airport in a mere 3 hours and go straight to work so I managed to make myself go back to the hostel at 4 am (what was I thinking, I should have gone straight to the airport from the tour bus!)  My new friend Dave was so sweet and walked me back to the train stop (I miss Texas boys for this very reason...covered in tattoos but still a southern gentleman!)  So I now have the email address and phone number of Blue Octobers Merch manager, saving that one for sure!  He emailed me the next day to tell me it was good to meet me at the show and that he hoped I had fun on the bus and to let me know next time I come to a show...you bet I am Dave, see you soon!!

Me and Dave